Returning to Life As It Wasn't
by madamoisellecullen
Summary: Bella is a vampire, after seeing someone from her past she returns to Forks to pick up loose ends and restart relationships. Will the people who left her behind be forgiven? And will the people she left behind forgive her? -Bella/Edward-
1. Chapter 1

B-POV

B-POV

She felt his body against hers before he'd even uttered a word, "Bella," he whispered and she involuntarily shivered.

"Caius?" Bella asked slowly, her mouth sneering around the name

"Where have you been?" he asked her

"Busy, I had to hunt so that the feast tonight would be bearable."

"Why do you continue with that way of life? They left you." He kissed her neck and looked up at her

"I don't enjoy killing humans. I don't enjoy the taste." She told him and turned in his embrace

He kissed her mouth and led her out of their chambers.

"I still cannot believe you are mine." He whispered as they entered the throne room

'Only you think I'm yours.' She thought as she took in the room. It still took her breath away, even though she had been at the headquarters for over 50 years. Bella looked around the room and saw someone she never thought she'd see again. She slowly felt herself change her outward appearance from her normal 5'4", brown hair, golden eyes to a tall 5'9" platinum blonde with the crimson eyes of a hungry, human killing, vampire.

"Who do you see?" Caius asked

"Somebody from my past life." She said and went over the person. He was tall and even from the back he was beautiful. He had movie star looks and even as he turned around Bella knew his eyes were gold.

"Carlisle," she choked out

"Hello. You must be Caius' new lover." He appraised her and nodded

"Yes, my name is Alexandra." Bella inclined her head and Carlisle took her hand

"Carlisle Cullen, amazing to meet you." He kissed her hand and then turned to go talk to Aro.

She shifted back into her normal look and went to Caius.

"I need to know if his family is with him." I whispered in his ear

"What will you give me in return?"

"What haven't I given you?" she asked him

"I will think of something." He told her and kissed her forehead.

Bella shuddered and watched him walk away. She turned on her heel and walked out of the room to change for the night. She slipped out of her long medieval dress and into a pair of super skinny jeans with black stiletto thigh high boots over them. She then grabbed a white camisole tank top and her leather jacket. All Bella knew was she had to get out of the embassy. She then felt a thought form in her head

'His family is in Forks. I understand if you must leave. If you leave, you will never be welcome here again"

Her mouth turned into a grim line as she grabbed her helmet and shoved a wallet into her pocket. Her bike was parked outside the embassy. She had upgraded from the bike she'd had while she was human to a black Honda FireBlade. She slung herself over the bike and pulled her helmet on. Bella was in France by sunrise, she pulled off to an inn and went about finding a flight that would allow her bike. She also thought, about seeing Edward again, finding all the things she'd left behind when she'd been changed into a vampire, all those years ago.

E-POV

Edward pushed the gas pedal down as far as it would go. His car roared to life and within 3.5 seconds he was already to sixty. He'd traded up, the Volvo for an Acura NSX, the Volvo held too many memories. He was driving back from California, he'd been hunting and was eager to get back home. Carlisle had been to Italy to check in with the Volturi and Edward had made him promise he'd ask around for Bella. He looked to his left and saw a black streak go past him on the freeway. He floored the engine and was soon well over 200 mph. He caught up with the bike and smirked. Edward loved to play these games. They kept pace until they made it well past the Washington border. The bike pulled off in Olympia to gas up and he followed. He wanted to meet the guy on the bike. He watched as the bike pulled into a chevron right off of I-5 and begin to gas up. He pulled next to him at the pump and got out of his car. Edward looked up slowly, starting with the stiletto boots,

'So he's female.' He thought,

He eyed her ass and noted it was amazing, he made his way up and saw she had an ample chest even under her black leather jacket. He stopped suddenly at her face though.

'No," he thought, 'They got her…'

"The race was fun." Bella said without looking up.

"Yeah. Thanks for that." He watched her head snap up and freeze.

"You…" she whispered.

In a flash he saw her throw her helmet on and straddle her bike. Once more he watched her streak away knowing instantly where she was headed.


	2. Chapter 2

B-POV

a/n: I do not own any of the characters –sob- though if Edward ever found me I'd kidnap him / 2nd chapter….i'm happy with it read and review please

B-POV

Bella pulled into Forks as it was getting light out. She pulled up in front of the old house and parked her bike in the driveway. She'd kept Charlie's old house after he'd died so that she could come back to Forks whenever she decided to. Bella grabbed her spare key from under the potted plant on the threshold and let herself in. The house smelled of mothballs and memories. She busied herself removing the white sheets from all of the furniture and taking stock of what she needed. Bella wanted to refurnish the house; she wanted everything to be elaborate. She had all the money she needed, that she would ever need. 60 years as a 19 year old had given her plenty of opportunity. She had a bachelor's degree in teaching and planned to use it now that she was back in Forks. In Italy she had worked as a guard to Aro and Marcus, and finally settled into her ability to lure prey into the embassy. She was paid handsomely for her abilities and, with all things considered, felt compelled to give back.

Bella had left Forks on less than ideal terms with everyone. The Cullen's had left again, more than a year before hand, when Caius showed up and turned her into a vampire. Before then she had mothered a son with Jacob Black. Her flight to escape Forks after her transformation could not have been faster. She took everything she could fit into a bag and went to Italy. Forks was a bad memory to her only because she knew her son was immortal. She knew that Jacob and he were still alive and she knew that she may never meet him. She also knew that sooner or later she'd meet up with the Cullen's and it wouldn't be a happy reunion.

E-POV

When I arrived home Alice informed me that Bella was at Charlie's house, or would be very soon. I couldn't help but wonder if she would seek out Jacob for information on her son. Edward knew about the boy, named Jenner Ryan Black. The boy looked like Bella, from what he knew and was immortal due to his family's nearness to the tribe. Edward sat down hard on the couch and thought about the last time he'd seen Bella.

Flashback

"_Bella, we have to go. The Volturi are coming. I'm so sorry. I love you Bella." Edward told her_

_She froze, "You're leaving me again? But we're married! You can't go! Bring me with you!" she yelled at him_

"_Bella mine, we can't. We are leading them away. I'll come back as soon as the danger is passed." He kissed her hands and her cheeks trying to make her understand._

"_Just go. I should have known that you'd leave me again." _

_It was like she'd slapped him in the face. He recoiled and his gaze grew dark. He turned and walked from her life. They'd come back 3 years later to find Bella gone and Jacob Black signing their 3-year-old up for daycare. _

Edward had been heartbroken. He had spent the last 50 years looking constantly for the girl who he'd left behind. Now she was only 3 miles away and he had no idea where to start.

BPOV

2 months after Edward left she slept with Jacob. It wasn't the smartest idea and it had left her pregnant at 18 years old. Jacob had stepped up, caring for her throughout the nine months, and she began to see herself being with him and their child forever. She had her son in August on the 14th. Jenner Ryan was everything she'd ever wanted in life, with the exception of Edward. They spent two months together before she was found by Caius while visiting the meadow where Edward had brought her in the early days of their relationship. That memory was the most predominant in her mind.

Flashback

_She sat in the wood, her white summer dress flowing about her knees. Her hair was in a side ponytail and moving with the wind. She was thinking intently when she heard a rustle and looked to her left. There on the fringe was Caius, she recognized him from their trip into Volterra. _

"_Ca…Caius.' She stammered with nervousness_

"_I see they didn't keep their promise." He said, his voice low and menacing_

"_They thought we had more time." She told him_

"_Right. So, how do you want to do this? I can kill you here, or we can go to Italy." _

"_No, Caius, I have a son. I have a boyfriend. Please don't kill me. I'll do anything." She pleaded_

_He smiled and she immediately expected the worst. "Anything?" he smiled and his lips came above his fangs._

"_Y…ye…Yes." She stammered. He moved toward her and leaned in. He smelled the air around her and smirked again. Before she could tell what happened she felt his fangs in her neck. Then in her ankle and once again at her navel. Immediately she felt the venom slide through her body. Bella screamed and writhed on the ground. Caius bent down and whispered in her ear, _

"_I'll expect you in 4 days mi nuevo amante." He laughed and ran off leaving Bella in the clearing. To suffer through the transformation on her own._

Bella shuddered at the thought of her change. At the end of 3 days, she felt stronger, she felt more beautiful and she was full of vengeance. Bella heard a knock at the door and it pulled her out of her reverie. She opened the door and saw the person who she never wanted to see again. She struck fast and punched him so hard he flew backward into the yard.

"What do you want?" she snarled at her once-upon-a-time boyfriend, the one, the only Edward Cullen


	3. Chapter 3

E-POV

A/n: only like 2 more chapters. The next chapter we have Bella meet her son…oooo, it's gonna be crazy! Read and Review

E-POV

"Bella, calm down." I said quietly as she stalked across the lawn

"Calm down? Calm down?" she roared, "How dare you come here! You have no right coming anywhere near me!"

I looked at her, standing now. She was even more beautiful than I remembered. The effect of the transformation, I knew. The hate in her eyes was startling, her beautiful golden eyes. "Bella, we left to save you. We left so that Caius wouldn't find you. You got a year with your son. You got a year with Jacob. Please forgive me. I haven't stopped thinking of you."

"You think you saved me? I had a son because you left me. I was changed by Caius because you left me. Don't you get all self righteous! If you want my forgiveness you can kill yourself trying. I don't think I can forgive you." She stared at me hard and I took her hand

"Nobody told you that we came back did they? Nobody told you that I would have killed myself had I found that you were dead. Nobody told you that every single day for 50 years I spent driving fast, trying to outrun the fact that I left you, and I shouldn't have." I told her and watched her eyes soften just a bit.

"I'd invite you to coffee to talk, but as you can see neither of us can enjoy that. I'll meet you in our meadow tomorrow at noon." She told me and smiled a bit. I could still see the walls, but they were melting slowly. I left in a chipper mood and drove at only 80 through town and home.

As soon as I parked my car Alice ran through the door of the house.

"Oh Edward, I'm so happy for you and Bella! Her future just became clear again! It was all blurry because she had almost no future outlook on life. But now I'm sure that everything will be perfect!" Alice smiled at me and I laughed

"So she's made up her mind then?" I asked

"Oh yes. She's still in love with you. Oh, and the present you got her is amazing!" she giggled and ran inside as I followed at a much slower pace. I thought hard about what I wanted to give her. When it suddenly came to me, I asked Alice if she would go pick it up for me and I lounged around the house for the rest of the night. At 11:30 I put on my dark wash jeans and a white dress shirt, untucked, and drove to the meadow. I was early so I sat down and fiddled with the gift. Suddenly I heard her walk through the trees. She was wearing a lilac purple sun-dress. It was un-seasonably warm in Forks that day, she was barefoot and had her hair in a braid. She looked like I remembered her a human, the in-human looks aside.

"Edward." She whispered and I stood up,

"I got you something." I said and walked toward her

I pulled out the jewelry box and opened it for her. It was a necklace in the shape of a heart. It was a silver base set with 6 sapphires that grew in size from the tip of the heart to the bottom. (If you want the picture send me a message, I will find a way to send it to you) I walked behind her and put it on. She turned around and her face was sad,

"I don't know if I can trust you with my heart." She giggled, "Well, you know what I mean. I am afraid that if I let you in again I'll seem weak. And I enjoy being strong, I enjoy being able to do things for myself."

I looked at her and took her face in my hands, "I will never let you go again. I spent 50 years running from my past because you weren't in my future; I felt sorrow every time I looked around myself. Losing you again would crush me. It would absolutely crush me." I told her

She nodded, "I guess then, that we will have to try again. From the beginning…" she said

"Why don't we just skip to the end?" I asked and went to one knee. I pulled out the other jewelry box and opened it, "Bella Swan, Will you marry me…again?" I asked

She stared at me then smiled, "I guess I don't have a choice." I stood up quickly and kissed her. I realized at once how much I'd missed those lips, how I'd missed my Bella…

B-POV

I said yes because at the moment her kneeled down, I realized that I'd been running too. Caius had been a hiding spot, my inability to find Edward and make him tell me why he'd left me kept me hiding. The truth was, I'd never hated Edward. I always loved him, even after he left me. I didn't trust him, but I said yes because I knew in my heart I'd be able to someday. Now the only thing I had left to do in Forks was meet my son, the one thing I regretted leaving.


	4. Chapter 4

B-POV

A/n: the next chapter will be the last one! I'm excited! How does it seem so far? I will only know if you leave me a review!

Disclaimer- I do not own Edward Cullen sob or anyone else. Because if I did I would be doing other things…

B-POV

It took a month for Alice to get the second wedding all put together. One month of me being utterly bored and waiting to get married again. I realized in that month that I had loose ends to tie up. The son I left behind when I was changed was still alive. I was sitting in my father's house as I realized this, my son, Jenner, was still alive in La Push, his father would still be alive, especially since the Cullen's had been back.

"Edward." I said

"Yes love?"

"I need to see him."

He looked at me, and then realized who I was talking about.

"Is that really a good idea? The treaty still stands."

"I'm his mother, even if I am a vampire. I'll call Jacob." I kissed him, "I have to Edward. I have to know how he is, how he grew up."

"You do what you need to. As long as your at our wedding in three days I'll be a happy man." He kissed me again and smiled. "I have to go. Alice and Jasper have a surprise for me…I'm kind of scared."

I laughed and he ran to the Cullen manor. My mood turned grim almost immediately though. I grabbed my cell phone and dialed the familiar number to reach Jacob.

Billy had given us his house when we found out I was pregnant. I was depressed, but that house made me happier. Someone picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?" a woman's voice answered

"Hi, is Jacob Black there?" I asked

"Well, no. He doesn't live here anymore. His son, Jenner Black does though. Would you like to speak to Jenner?" the woman asked

"No, how can I reach Jacob?" I asked

"His number at home is…" The woman rattled off the number and Bella hung up the phone. She picked it back up, shaking a bit and dialed the number.

"Hello?" another female voice asked

"Hi, is Jacob Black home?"

"Yeah, may I ask whose calling?"

"Just an old friend."

"Just one moment." Moments later Jacob's voice came onto the phone

"Hello?"

"Jacob?" I asked

"Who is this?" he asked

"It's Bella." I said and I heard a sharp intake of breath on the other end,

"Bella, what do you want?" he sounded angry.

"You deserve an explanation. You and Jenner deserve an explanation." I said

"Why now? 50 years later, why?" he asked

"Edward and I are getting married. I feel like Jenner should know that I love him, even after all this time."

"Are you a bloodsucker?" he snarled

"Yes Jake, why would I have stayed away for so long?" I cried

"We will meet you in the Plaza Jalisco's parking lot in 20 minutes" (a/n: There really is a plaza in Forks! I've been there!)

"Thank you Jake." I said and hung up the phone. I slipped into a pair of skinny jeans and a dark purple sweater. I put on my brown calf boots and grabbed my helmet. 20 minutes later I stood in the parking lot at Plaza. Nervous and jittery. I smelled Jacob before I saw his car pull into the lot. He drove a small VW jetta, I saw Jenner in the passengers seat with a scowl on his face. They parked and Jacob got slowly out of the car.

"Bella." He nodded and I looked at my son, he had his fathers build, tall, lean, muscular. He had my hair, it was worn long and was held back with a hair tie. He had my eyes and Jake's beautiful face. He was amazing, everything I'd ever known he'd be. If I could cry I would have broken down. My voice though, betrayed emotion still.

"I'm so sorry," I choked out and slumped against my bike, dry sobbing, and said "I never wanted to leave you. I loved you in no way I ever can love again. You were my everything. You are so beautiful. I wished everyday that I could see you again, so that I could explain why I never came back. You, obviously, can smell why." I stopped and looked at my son. His face had relaxed and his snarl was gone. His eyes were wet, "I hardly expect you to forgive me, but I wanted to invite you to my wedding. It's in 3 days, on April 30th. It'll be at the Cullen mansion. I can e-mail you directions. I wanted you there. That's why I wanted to find you."

"Do you kill humans?" Jenner asked suddenly

"No, I never have. My record is almost as clean as Carlisle's. You can ask me whatever you want. We can go back to my house. The sun is going to come out here soon like. I can't really get caught in it." I nodded apathetically. Jenner looked back at his dad and Jake nodded. He looked at me and asked, "Do you have an extra helmet?"

I laughed and threw him mine. "I really don't need one."

E-POV

After I left Bella's house I went to find Jasper and Alice to see if they were done decorating the yard. When I got to the house I saw that Emmett, Rosalie and their adopted daughter Amelia were there. I ran in and was immediately pummeled by Amelia, who would turn 25 in about two months.

"Uncle Edie!" she exclaimed, "Convince my parents to change me. I'm sick of being human."

I looked at Rose and Emmett, who also had their newest addition, a 4 month old from Ireland. "You do realize how much she sounds like Bella correct?"

They nodded and Emmett said, "We do also realize that Alice already saw her being changed, so someone's mind is made up. We just wanted to wait until she was old enough that she could just re-do college a lot and get whatever job she wanted."

"Well, hey have a point." I laughed and took the baby. His name was Landon Emmett Hale. They had taken to Amelia at an orphanage in London and decided that they were disciplined enough to adopt a human child.

I carried Landon while I thought. Bella was probably seeing Jacob and Jenner at that very moment. I didn't know how I felt about the boy. Mostly jealousy, that I would never share anyone that special with Bella. I was pulled out of my revere by Alice and Rosalie. Rose took the baby and looked at me hard.

"Ed, what are you thinking?" she asked

"About Bella. She's meeting Jenner." I told them

"Oh, I thought it was something important." Rose said, "Jenner is her flesh and blood Ed. The fact that after 50 years her baby is alive to talk to her is an amazing feat of luck. Be happy for her."

"Thanks Rose. Alice how is everything going?" I asked

"Everything is perfect, all I have to do is pick up the bridesmaid dresses and her dress. Then we are set." She smiled, "Don't stress brother." She kissed my check and Rose and her walked out of the room.

B-POV

"So you didn't want to leave?" he asked me

"Not for a single moment. But you were in so much more danger with me around." I told him, we were in my house. He had a cup of coffee and a towel sprayed with perfume over his nose. It had been like this for over an hour, question and answer.

"So, you want me at your wedding?" he asked

"Yeah, I'm really excited. I've been in love with Edward since I was 17."

"I'll be there. I have to go. What time is it at? And can I bring my wife and kids?"

"3:00 in the afternoon. You have children?"

"Yeah, four of them. Isabella, we call her Izzy. James, Anna, and JR, Jenner Ryan Jr." he told me

I rose as he did and walked him out, "I missed you baby."

"We missed you too, mom." He hugged me and walked down the stairs. I watched him go and went to call Edward. Suddenly overjoyed to be getting married…


	5. Chapter 5

B-POV

A/n: I mention all the dresses in this chapter. They are all on my site, just click on the links….I have them labeled too. Please, read, enjoy and review!

B-POV

I felt almost regal in my dress. Before my first wedding I felt ugly, and severely unworthy of having Edward in my life. Now though, everything was relative. I was a vampire now, beautiful, fast and invincible. I had also spent 50 years without him, making me, in my mind, more independent. I stood in front of the mirror and admired the dress Alice had found for me. It was a floor length white dress. It had organza sleeves that settled on my biceps and the organza made up the structure of the boob covers. There was a satin piece that circled underneath my boobs and was tied with a prim bow. It then was tight until just above my hips and moved out to settle gracefully on the ground. (Picture on my site) I casually ran my fingers through my side ponytail. It was clasped with a light blue clip to hang over my right shoulder. My brown hair was curled into soft ringlets. My bangs hung to the side and were barrel curled. I continued to admire myself until I heard a knock on the door. Alice poked her head in the door.

"You decent?" she asked

"Hey Alice." I said and smiled

"You look stunning. Edward's jaw is going to drop."

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm reordering my closet in my head. By color" Alice giggled and reached down to rearrange my dress. "I have the final touch." She reached a hand up and settled something in my hair. It was a silver tiara. It was modest, but I knew it boasted an obnoxious amount of actual diamonds. "Esme wore it when she married Carlisle, and her mother wore it when she married Esme's father. She just found it. We thought you'd want it."

Had I had the ability to cry I would have been sobbing, but instead I nodded and turned around.

"So I look good?"

"Amazing."

"Well so do you, if I must say. You and Rosalie are dressed then?" I asked

"Yes, and so is Anna. Your granddaughter." Alice smiled when I did.

My wedding party was small. Alice as my maid of honor and Rosalie as my bridesmaid. They wore these beautiful dresses we'd picked out. The colors for my wedding were Ice blue and white. Their dresses were tight fitting and floor length. They were thick spaghetti strapped with a modest V cut neck .They were rouched on the stomach and gathered under the cleavage with a sparkling blue brooch. From the brooch it cascaded down to the ground and looked like a waterfall. Alice had her hair spiked up and from what I'd heard Rose had her hair gathered up half way and had the rest down and curled. My granddaughter Anna, who was 5, was my flower girl. She wore a bubble skirt dress with a blue satin ribbon around her waist. It had skinny spaghetti straps and lace on the collar line. I smiled thinking of my son. And looked at Alice,

"Let's go get me married." She whooped and led me out to the back of the house. I stood behind the curtain and watched as Alice and Carlisle walked out together, then Rosalie and Emmett. I smiled as Anna stepped outside and started throwing white rose petals all around. Then Jenner walked over and took my arm.

"You ready mom?" he laughed. I kissed his cheek and looked ahead. "You look beautiful." He murmured

"Thank you. So much." I smiled as big as I could and turned to look at Edward. He looked suave in, what I could tell, was a very expensive designer suit. Jenner stopped at the end of the isle and nodded at Edward, He stooped to me and kissed me cheek. I nodded at him as he moved to sit beside his wife. Edward took my hand and for the second time I became Mrs. Isabella Marie Cullen. After the nuptials we moved to a large tent that had been erected in the back of the Cullen mansion. I swept inside to let Alice dress me up for the reception. And I knew Edward was changing as well.

E-POV

I don't think I'd ever seen her more beautiful. The white dress with her long dark hair was perfect. Now she was changing for the reception. I put on a pair of soft dress slacks, a white long sleeved dress shirt and a black sweater vest. I rolled up my sleeves and slid my feet into my black Gucci loafers. I made my way to the kitchen to meet Bella so we could enter together. She stepped down the stairs and I damn near took her at that moment. She wore a strapless black dress. It fell on her mid to upper thigh. It looked to me like a flapper dress, lots of fringy layers. Her legs looked miles long and they polished it off with red satin stiletto heels. Her hair was let out of the clasp and was a mess of curls around her shoulders.

"I thought you looked amazing at the wedding. This love, is above and beyond." I kissed her lips and we made our way out to the tent. She got some cat-calls from friends we'd invited. Jacob looked gob smacked. I grinned with pride as she smiled, her red lips parting to show impossibly white teeth. Then a small girl ran and grabbed her legs.

"Grandma Bella. James won't let me have some of your cake. He says it's for later. But I telled him you can't eat it!" Anna poked her lower lip out and Bella swept the little girl into her arms.

"You tell James, that Grandma Bella has a surprise for him. Then get Izzy and JR too." I watched as the little girl, Anna's, eyes lit up. She scrambled down and ran through the tent yelling for her siblings.

I watched as Bella beamed after the little girl. Our reception was warm. I was actually enjoying myself until my best man, Emmett, got up and made a speech.

"My brother Edward. Is a prude. But with Bella looking as hot as she is, I know his thoughts are far from prudish." The room chuckled as I slid down in my seat. Emmett finished having thoroughly embarrassed me and we were allowed to leave. Bella and I had planned a trip to Ireland. I owned a house in the countryside and we wanted to have lots of privacy. I watched quietly as Bella gave a kiss and a hug to her Grandchildren and her son's wife. Then she stopped at her son. The man wrapped her so firmly up into his grasp I feared seeing her again. She smiled a wet smile and kissed his cheek. She waved at the wedding party and turned and grabbed my hand.

Life was looking up after all.


	6. Chapter 6

A/n: the final chapter. Took me awhile to write, simply because it's hard for me to say goodbye to things, especially, my first twilight fan fiction. Thanks to all the stayed with it, and put up with my shotty updating style! Please enjoy.

J-POV

I saw my mother every few years after that. They didn't stay around very long if they could help it, simply because they didn't want to have to explain why they looked exactly the same as they had 50 plus years ago. I forgave her completely, much to the chagrin of my father. He decided after she'd been gone four years that I deserved better, but I can't blame her for wanting me to be safe. After their wedding they went to Ireland and adopted a little girl, whom they name Audrina. My little sister is cuter than anything, and she loves to play with my youngest son JR. My mom tells me that Audri, as they call her, is very much a princess, she loves the fashion in France, where they are living right now and even at 4 years old could out walk any lady on the catwalk.

I stayed in La Push, though I've had many invitations to join them in France. My wife and I decided together not to uproot the kids until we absolutely had to. Plus, with my mother needing to leave every 10 years I decided that we could stay in La Push for as long as need be.

My father and I haven't talked, since I forgave my mother. He, as I mentioned above, thinks that I let her in too quickly. He'll get over it soon enough.

I've thought many times about her life, about how soon I'll leave this earth and she will miss me, be sorrowed by my passing. I feel mostly indifferent to time passing as it is, but now I realize, it doesn't matter how long you prolong it. Death comes to us all. I think she knew all along she'd leave me again, but I'm not all that bitter. Like I said, I've forgiven her. It's all about returning to my life, but in a way that is astronomically different than what I had imagined.


End file.
